My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
he puts the penis in happiness.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
