im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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