Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Randomize
