Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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