I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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