While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
Fuck appropriateness.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
Randomize
