dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
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