oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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