an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
