we're blogging at a bar
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
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