Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
