i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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