god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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