dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
This toilet bowl is my home.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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