just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
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