OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
These tits shall not be calmed
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
