Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
