do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
