God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
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