you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
These 19 Teachers Had Very Inappropriate Interactions With Students
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Women Confess 25 Instant Deal-Breakers On A Man’s Dating Profile
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
my poor anus
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.