Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
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I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
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What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...