dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia