It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
should my penis look like a turkey
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left