Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.

(609): View more from New Jersey

he's a keeper

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(570): so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours. (609): he's a keeper http://tfl.nu/09kq

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(203): View more from Connecticut

I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.

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(203): I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust. http://tfl.nu/xny1

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay

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(508): Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay http://tfl.nu/rfq4

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(818): View more from California

They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...

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(818): They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps... http://tfl.nu/7lmv

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(505): View more from New Mexico

Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message

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(505): Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message http://tfl.nu/azaf

Replies (7) Good night (4832) Bad night (883) Order T-Shirt
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(517): View more from Michigan

hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?

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(517): hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive? http://tfl.nu/un6m

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(770): View more from Georgia

Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives

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(770): Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives http://tfl.nu/9ndz

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(301): View more from Maryland

I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.

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(301): I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands. http://tfl.nu/945a

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(313): View more from Michigan

Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata

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(313): Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata http://tfl.nu/0yl6

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(604): View more from British Columbia

You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..

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(604): You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude.. http://tfl.nu/bx2g

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(505): View more from New Mexico

I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.

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(505): I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am. http://tfl.nu/o50r

Replies (25) Good night (3427) Bad night (569)
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(214): View more from Texas

She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter

(214): View more from Texas

Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.

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(214): She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter (214): Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous. http://tfl.nu/a0w0

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(518): View more from New York

Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!

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(518): Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top! http://tfl.nu/ukef

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(252): View more from North Carolina

You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"

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(252): You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!" http://tfl.nu/xz2t

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(306): View more from Saskatchewan

For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is

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(306): For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is http://tfl.nu/ppgp

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