Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.