i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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