is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
