im six kinds of drunk right now
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
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