Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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