I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Randomize
