dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Randomize
