another moral hangover. fuck.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Randomize
