her vagine was all disorganized.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
There's always time for handjobs
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Randomize
