I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
