no. you can't hotbox the world.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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