carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
