Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
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