What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
