Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
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your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
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When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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