The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Randomize
