how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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