Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
