took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
