I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Panties = found
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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