But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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