Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
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