I've blown a few things in my day
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
