I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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