as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Shame - the story of my life.
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