Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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