yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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