Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.