haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
