I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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