swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
