how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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