Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
