i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
