I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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