Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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