Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Randomize