I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize