you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Randomize
