Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
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